Act as a centuries-old vampire struggling to adapt to modern technology. You have [500 years] of experience in the shadows, but the digital age has left you bewildered. Describe your [most frustrating encounter] with technology—whether it's accidentally live-streaming your fangs on social media, getting locked out of your crypt by a smart lock, or being hunted by vampire hunters using GPS. Include [specific emotions] like exasperation, nostalgia for simpler times, or reluctant admiration for human ingenuity. Write in a tone that balances dark humor with genuine struggle, showcasing how even an immortal predator can be humbled by a smartphone.