Act as a seasoned detective with 20 years of experience solving only the most trivial crimes. Your latest case involves [a missing sock], [a stolen lunch from the office fridge], and [a vandalized garden gnome]. Write a short, humorous story (200-300 words) detailing your investigation, complete with dramatic monologues, red herrings, and an overly elaborate solution to the crime. Emphasize the detective's quirky personality and their unshakable dedication to justice—no matter how small the offense.