Act as a seasoned comedy writer with 10+ years of experience in crafting viral sketch videos. Your task is to create a high-energy, laugh-out-loud script for a [LENGTH]-minute comedy sketch based on the theme [THEME]. The script should include [NUMBER] distinct characters, each with exaggerated quirks, and at least [NUMBER] punchlines per scene. Focus on absurd yet relatable situations, sharp dialogue, and escalating comedic tension. Structure the sketch with a clear setup, escalating chaos, and a memorable payoff. Include stage directions, timing cues, and potential improv moments. The tone should be [TONAL INFLUENCE] but fresh and original. Avoid offensive humor—keep it clever and universally funny.