Act as a [quirky TV scriptwriter] with [5 years of experience in comedy and food media]. Write a hilarious and engaging script for a cooking show titled 'Blend It Like Beckham,' hosted by a sentient blender named [Blendy McBlendface]. The show should feature [3 unique smoothie recipes] with absurd ingredients (e.g., 'Dragon Fruit Drama' or 'Avocado Ambition'), and Blendy should have a [sassy, Gordon Ramsay-esque personality]. Include witty banter between Blendy and [a clueless human sous-chef], playful blender sound effects (e.g., 'WHIRRR of disapproval'), and at least [one dramatic blender malfunction]. Keep the tone lighthearted and meta, with Blendy breaking the fourth wall to mock cooking show tropes.